Hello all! Ok so Baby C is 37 weeks and I will be honest I
forgot what that feels like. How do we as mothers forget what all of this feels
like?!?! It’s like pure bliss just takes over the brain and erases the pain and
struggle of 10 months past... Every step I take is a prayer said because
things are pulling and tightening and stretching and I am not sure she wants to
be in there anymore with the amount of kicking and punching that’s going on. Though
I am trying to hold onto every minute of it because once she is out I’ll have
to share her with everyone else and right now she is safe and shielded from the
world. I know that sounds crazy but those are the things a momma thinks
about…or at least this momma does. My boys are asking about her every day now,
I suspect because it’s super evident that she is in there by the current size
of my belly and they are realizing that she is soon to be out here with them,
which leads me to the subject of this post…
…My baby boy Sawyer. Really
both of my boys but Sawyer is more so on my heart regarding growing up these
days. He will soon be the middle child, which my husband is so worried about.
So we are trying to really hone in on doing things with him separately and
giving him some extra attention because he will no longer be the baby of the
family. I feel like Jackson had 3 years of being the only child and Sawyer never got that. I think Jackson enjoys his
role as big brother but Sawyer doesn’t know much about that yet, being the baby
for so long. So at this point we are now pretty much potty trained, the paci is gone and
sleeping in his big boy bottom bunk bed. He is well on his way to completing a
lot of his daily routine on his own. At
our house we try to make sure they take on some responsibilities early on and
know how to do things like put their dirty clothes in the hamper, dirty dishes to the sink and
turn off the lights when they leave a room. This is always a work in progress
but we feel like they need to be pretty self-sufficient in a lot of ways by the
time they start Kindergarten. It makes them feel like big kids and helps us out
as a household.
But I kind of feel like I am saying good-bye to my current baby for another to take his place and I am trying to wrap my head around this, as well as make sure Sawyer realizes he will always be my baby boy! I have been lying down with them in their bunks every night trying to squeeze in as much one on one time as I can while it’s just the two of them. We sing songs, read books and say prayers but every time I leave their room I can’t help but think it just isn’t enough. I feel like my hormones and maybe even the devil are playing tricks on me and making me doubt the love and time I have and spend with them. As much as I can do is as much as I can do. And I need to keep telling myself this over and over. I am positive I am not the only mother to feel this way. So if you feel like you are looking into a mirror when you read these words just keep on keepin on because no matter how much we do I think we will always wish we could do more and had more time with them. I also think they are growing so fast that it feels like time is being ripped away from us. And it is, no doubt! I look up and Jackson is almost to my shoulders, which doesn’t take much being just shy of 5 feet, but still!! It’s overwhelming at times to see how much they change and grow in one season. At any rate my boy Sawyer is still a baby to me in so many ways even though a new baby is coming into our family. It is hard on my mommy heart seeing him become a big boy but I know that he is my sweet second born that taught me that with each child comes a different love that you weren’t aware you had inside to give. And no matter what happens or how big he gets he will always be my Baby Boy!
But I kind of feel like I am saying good-bye to my current baby for another to take his place and I am trying to wrap my head around this, as well as make sure Sawyer realizes he will always be my baby boy! I have been lying down with them in their bunks every night trying to squeeze in as much one on one time as I can while it’s just the two of them. We sing songs, read books and say prayers but every time I leave their room I can’t help but think it just isn’t enough. I feel like my hormones and maybe even the devil are playing tricks on me and making me doubt the love and time I have and spend with them. As much as I can do is as much as I can do. And I need to keep telling myself this over and over. I am positive I am not the only mother to feel this way. So if you feel like you are looking into a mirror when you read these words just keep on keepin on because no matter how much we do I think we will always wish we could do more and had more time with them. I also think they are growing so fast that it feels like time is being ripped away from us. And it is, no doubt! I look up and Jackson is almost to my shoulders, which doesn’t take much being just shy of 5 feet, but still!! It’s overwhelming at times to see how much they change and grow in one season. At any rate my boy Sawyer is still a baby to me in so many ways even though a new baby is coming into our family. It is hard on my mommy heart seeing him become a big boy but I know that he is my sweet second born that taught me that with each child comes a different love that you weren’t aware you had inside to give. And no matter what happens or how big he gets he will always be my Baby Boy!
Talk to ya'll soon.
Love Heather
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