A friend at work who is 3 months ahead of me and having a girl. She is about to pop so we had to take a preggers picture before that baby arrives.
Enjoying some bubble fun!
My sweet baby is getting too big.
Jackson and Sawyer are both learning to swim, almost over night.
Ya'll this week I
really wanted to post about how great our vacation was, which it was, and our
upcoming 4th of July party, red, white and blue outfit ideas and
decoration fun, which I will get to in the next few days. However, I just have
to get something off of my chest before the moment and the truth telling
passes. So…From time to time I train our new hires at TVFCU on what my
department, eServices, actually does and how we help our staff on a daily
basis. Basically all things online banking related. So yesterday I trained a
group and that was that. Well in this group was someone that knew of me through
being Facebook friends with my father-in-law and seeing my pictures on his page
she recognized me. She didn’t say anything in training but today I saw her again
as she was being given the tour of our building. Rewind to this week and how
tired and overwhelmed I have become with simply being pregnant and trying to
plan and prepare for the new baby. So I had a little breakdown and cried my woe
is me tears this morning first thing to my work BFF. Sometimes this is needed.
Ladies I know you know what I mean. So I was all puffy eyed and trying to
gather myself when this new hire was brought around and I look like my dog died
and feel so ashamed to have a big, red, blistery looking face. The lady was super
nice and asked if I was related to Ringgold Bradford’s and what my husband’s
name was and we realized we did know each other and a lot of the same people. She said she thought she knew who I was the day before in training but wasn't sure because my hair was up. (Side note- my hair has been up for 5 days now, unwashed in a bun bc I have been tired and lazy.) But I began to think to myself… ‘Oh my word I look nothing like I do in my
pictures and this is her first impression of me in person. She is going to
think I am a crazy person.” I proceeded to say I was sorry that I had been
having a rough morning and had been emotional. It's clear to see I am pregnant so I hoped she was having pitty on me. But I walked away from this
meeting feeling like I had broken the facade of what I normally look like and
the image I try to portray to people. And then like most things these days I
started thinking about how this topic would be such a great blog post!
Being a mom, pregnant, a worrier, a perfectionist,
a homemaker and working a full time job is tiring! Tiring is a fitting word but
it doesn’t even cover half of what I am feeling at the present time. I just
want to be honest. I am overwhelmed a
lot of the time. I will admit I put a lot of expectations on myself as I am
sure a lot of you do. We shouldn’t do this to ourselves. We should do what we
can and not think to ourselves we don’t measure up to the next women in the
grocery store or restaurant that we see with the perfect everything. Because
let’s face it no one’s perfect. And the posts we see on Facebook that make us
reassess and then start to doubt ourselves. That’s like shaming ourselves when
there is nothing we should be ashamed of. Especially when we are doing the best
we can! No one has it all together no matter what they look like! I surely
don’t. Right now I am exhausted and depleted, and most of the time I’m constantly
pleading with God through prayer to give me some grace and mercy to handle life
and kids the way he wants me to. I also
love beautiful pictures of my family to share with you all and to post on
social media but the story behind what led up to the picture is what’s most
important in all reality…Because more people can relate to that than the
picture of perfection that’s more often posted, “liked” and praised.
These pictures appear
that we are all happy, easily standing there at will, with no upsets, tantrums,
tears or fighting! That’s never the case! Like EVER! Kids don’t want to stand
there and take a picture; heck neither does my husband for that matter. For a
family picture session the time and energy and forethought put into making even
one picture look like a family in a magazine are massive. Location, time,
wardrobe, bribes, trying to be super sweet up to picture time in order to
insure there are no meltdowns . And that’s just on my end. Who knows what more
the photographer has to go through in editing. This is what we do to ourselves
people. It’s crazy. I love the pictures that hang on my walls and what they
represent to me and my family but knowing and showing the people and
personalities behind those images is far more important. The pictures we have
from our trips or family time shared at home on the weekends are on the spur of
the moment and in the moment. They are fun and quirky and sometimes tear filled
and that’s what’s real! I try to take and post pictures that cover all of these
bases, both sides of the spectrum. But it is hard in a world where image is
everything not to try to perfect even the slightest details. I feel like the
more we crop, filter, plan and Photoshop the less original and personal our
pictures and memories become. I guess I am feeling like this because I am
having a rough, emotional, pregnant, basket case week. These happen to women
and we all know it but when they arise it’s hard to not feel like we am the
only one crying about third world problems.
Pictures don’t tell
the whole truth. And that’s the simple truth of it. And I think the more honest
we are with ourselves and each other the better off we will be. The more we can
talk, relate and laugh at how we try to do it all and be so on top of things and
how a lot of the times our plans and moments just don’t turn out the way we
think they will or flat out fall apart, the happier we will all be. My pictures for this post are just what I have taken the last few days. No Photoshop required. I hope all
this makes sense because it just happened in the last 24 hours so there wasn’t a
whole lot of editing going on, unlike most of my pictures.
(Insert wink and eye
roll here)
Talk to y'all soon.
Love Heather
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